A Tale of Two Orphans
Part 1.01: Tomorrow, Tomorrow
By: All Outta Bubble Gum (@aobgsports)
For many of the orphan teams on the Dynasty Owner platform, all it takes is a little TLC to build a contender. The Dynasty Owners may not have renewed their teams for another season, but with a little cleanup and at a rock bottom price of just $10, you can have a contender.
For those teams, the sun’ll come out tomorrow. People will bet their bottom dollar on a team that was left behind by its old owner. The team will have its cobwebs cleared away, end up with decent draft picks, legitimate building blocks, and be ready to place highly in leagues for the next season and beyond.
Little Orphan Annie? Really?
Sure!
How many readers here have ever actually seen Annie?
Point taken. But I’m going with it.
Back to my point, before I was so rudely interrupted by the invisible guy that’s typing snarky stuff in the middle of this article.
Orphan teams that can win are certainly available.
But some orphan teams have tomorrows that aren’t so sunny. They don’t have many draft picks. They might have only a couple of players with any value beyond this year. However, in a couple years when you win money by placing high in a league and have built that team to keep winning for years to come, it’s all worth it.
Neglected, forgotten, and troubled teams. Two of these teams will be the focus of this series of articles. Together, we’ll go through the shock of the initial state of the team, move into free agency, making Free Agent Auction moves, trade improvements, and walk through in-season management with the goal of becoming a contender as soon as possible.
Enough rambling, what are we doing here?
You’re an impatient invisible person who’s typing in the middle of my articles, aren’t you? In order to fully capture the Orphan Experience, I’m going to take a couple of different teams with a couple different backgrounds. One will be from a $1,200 Cash Prize Pool league, and another will be from a Love of the Game league. There are often different levels of engagement from Dynasty Owners depending on the buy-in level, and often the quality of free agents that are available in cash prize pool leagues is thinner with rebuilds being more challenging.
I mean, it’s $10 per orphan team right now. There’s no reason not to snag a couple of teams. Hint hint.
So, you want us to just read all this stuff without knowing who you are?
You seem pretty skeptical. So, by way of introductions, I’m a guy who owns a couple dozen teams on the platform under the team name “All Outta Bubble Gum”. Almost all the teams are orphans. I’m like Dynasty Owner’s own Daddy Warbucks.
Annie again?
I’m dedicated to the gimmick.
Now I’ll give you three reasons why you’ll want to stay tuned to this journey:
- I have 29 years of experience in fantasy football, which means that I have 29 years of experience with frustration, heartbreak, bad beats, and even the occasional win or two.
- I’m not afraid to look stupid. So, as we go along, I’ll be pointing out the ways in which I trip over myself and fall flat on my face. There is no guarantee that this will work, so I’m prepared to fail publicly and revel in that failure.
- I’m going to listen to your feedback. I’ll write a few thousand words, but your insights (no matter how hostile) are welcomed and will be used. Let’s pile on the word count! The beauty of Dynasty Owner is that you can build a roster through 1,000 different methods. I’ll walk through a couple methods here, but they’re not the only ways you can go. At the end of this article, I’ll give you a way to get direct feedback to me that will influence this content.
I’m looking forward to telling you how badly you messed up and watching that whole falling on your face thing as you look like a total moron.
I don’t remember using the term “moron”, but okay.
How about this? I’m looking forward to watching this fail like you did in college and with that whole marriage thing.
That’s getting a little personal, but whatever.
How about this? I’m looking forward to seeing you build these teams into barely passable, mediocre franchises that can’t get past the first round of the playoffs. Can we just call your teams the Dallas Cowboys 1 and 2 and be done with it?
Now that is a step too far! You take that back right now!
Calm down, Jerry Jones.
I’m sorry. I lost my composure. It’s just that there’s only so much a man can take. Dallas Cowboys. That’s too far.
Okay, point taken. So, let’s get to what the teams are already…
Fine. Okay. I’m good now.
The way these teams were selected was through a random draw. I counted all the available teams in both the $1,200 Cash Prize Pool and Love of the Game leagues and used a random number generator to pick the teams that I’d buy.
First, we have a team in a $1,200 Cash Prize Pool league that, well, I’ll let the team speak for itself.
| Position | Player | Team | Annual Salary | Years Left on Contract |
| K | Jason Myers | SEA | $5,275,000 | 4 |
| K | Justin Tucker | BAL | $6,000,000 | 5 |
| K | Cairo Santos | CHI | $3,000,000 | 1 |
| QB | Trevor Lawrence | JAC | $9,198,372 | 2 |
| QB | Sam Darnold | SF | $4,500,000 | 1 |
| QB | Zach Wilson | NYJ | $8,787,670 | 2 |
| RB | Derrick Henry | TEN | $12,500,000 | 1 |
| RB | Cordarrelle Patterson | ATL | $5,250,000 | 1 |
| RB | Michael Carter | NYJ | $1,071,842 | 2 |
| RB | Boston Scott | PHI | $2,000,000 | 1 |
| RB | Justin Jackson | Free Agent | $1,035,000 | 0 |
| RB | Julius Chestnut | TEN | $750,000 | 1 |
| RB | Ty Chandler | MIN | $989,710 | 3 |
| RB | Ty Johnson | Free Agent | $1,232,500 | 0 |
| RB | Leonard Fournette | Free Agent | $7,000,000 | 0 |
| TE | Chigoziem Okonkwo | TEN | $1,041,085 | 3 |
| TE | Gerald Everett | LAC | $6,000,000 | 1 |
| TE | Mike Gesicki | NE | $4,500,000 | 1 |
| WR | Jerry Jeudy | DEN | $3,798,244 | 1 |
| WR | Drake London | ATL | $5,383,617 | 3 |
| WR | DeVante Parker | NE | $7,625,000 | 1 |
| WR | Jauan Jennings | SF | $940,000 | 1 |
| WR | Chase Claypool | CHI | $1,654,156 | 1 |
| WR | John Metchie | HOU | $2,017,543 | 3 |
| WR | Curtis Samuel | WAS | $11,500,000 | 1 |
| WR | Josh Reynolds | DET | $3,000,000 | 1 |
| WR | Marquez Valdes-Scantling | KC | $10,000,000 | 2 |
| WR | David Bell | CLE | $1,273,726 | 3 |
| TOTAL SALARIES | $127,323,465 | |||
| Team #1 – 2023 Outlook | ||
| 2023 Draft Picks | 2.04, 3.11 | |
| # of Players for 2023 | 28 | |
| Amount Under Cap | 036,535 | |
| Dynasty Dollars | 6.4 million | |
| Amnesty Provisions | 4 | |
| Team #1 – 2024 Outlook | ||
| 2024 Draft Picks | 1st (1), 2nd (0), 3rd (1) | |
| Players Signed for 2024 | 11 | |
| 2024 Salaries | $51,038,565 | |
Summary: Well. We have cap space and Amnesty Provisions. With no 2023 first round picks and only one pick in the top 35, we don’t have the draft capital for a rebuild, but we have to find a way to make a rebuild happen because this team is not contending this season.
Commentary: In $1,200 Cash Prize Pool leagues, people tend to be more competitive. So, there aren’t as many quality free agents available. And when a team’s bad, it’s bad. This one is bad.
There are a couple valuable pieces. I’m keeping Drake London, and that’s about the only automatic keeper I have here. Trevor Lawrence is great, but he isn’t a top-flight quarterback right now and he’s due for a fat raise in a couple years. It may be that he comes into his own just in time for him to cost $55 million a year. If I have to let him go to get assets, I will. We might get something for Derrick Henry, Jerry Jeudy, Chigoziem Okonkwo, and maybe a couple others.
The name of this game will be to get some serviceable players from the Free Agent Auction (if possible) and build 2023 draft capital to get an influx of keepable talent to build off. If this team acquires more rookie draft picks and we get later in the rookie draft and folks are willing to sell us 2024 seconds for our 2023 thirds, for example, we take them up on those offers. This is not a one year rebuild. This team is almost unplayable, so we need to think of this year while making sure we have the pieces to keep building in 2024 and 2025.
The good thing is that with four (FOUR!) Amnesty Provisions, we can take some chances on some higher priced free agents that others may not want. If we get someone like Kyler Murray ($46,100,000) and he were to live up to the level of a top QB, or if we got Mike Williams ($20,000,000) and he found a way to be consistently great for once, we would be able to have them for the next few years. Combine that with cheaper rookie talent and young players we bring on from trades, and that could be a strong nucleus. If Murray and Williams stink, then we have the Amnesty Provisions to get rid of them with minimal harm done.
Next, we have a team in a Love of the Game league:
| Position | Player | Team | Annual Salary | Years Left on Contract |
| K | Brandon McManus | JAC | $4,300,000 | 2 |
| K | Wil Lutz | NO | $4,050,000 | 1 |
| K | Zane Gonzalez | SF | $2,250,000 | 1 |
| QB | Mac Jones | NE | $3,896,588 | 2 |
| QB | Baker Mayfield | TB | $4,000,000 | 1 |
| QB | Jameis Winston | NO | $4,000,000 | 1 |
| QB | Andy Dalton | CAR | $5,000,000 | 2 |
| RB | D’Andre Swift | PHI | $2,134,729 | 1 |
| RB | Dameon Pierce | HOU | $1,118,858 | 3 |
| RB | Miles Sanders | CAR | $6,350,000 | 4 |
| RB | James Conner | ARI | $7,000,000 | 2 |
| RB | Antonio Gibson | WAS | $1,233,159 | 1 |
| RB | Ke’Shawn Vaughn | TB | $1,188,999 | 1 |
| RB | Travis Homer | CHI | $2,000,000 | 2 |
| RB | Leonard Fournette | Free Agent | $7,000,000 | 0 |
| TE | Tyler Higbee | LAR | $7,250,000 | 1 |
| TE | Tommy Tremble | CAR | $1,231,608 | 2 |
| TE | Jelani Woods | IND | $1,343,118 | 3 |
| WR | DK Metcalf | SEA | $24,000,000 | 3 |
| WR | Stefon Diggs | BUF | $24,000,000 | 5 |
| WR | Drake London | ATL | $5,383,617 | 3 |
| WR | DeVante Parker | NE | $7,625,000 | 1 |
| WR | Tyler Boyd | CIN | $10,750,000 | 1 |
| WR | Donovan Peoples-Jones | CLE | $870,402 | 1 |
| WR | Wan’Dale Robinson | NYG | $2,046,292 | 3 |
| WR | Tutu Atwell | LAR | $1,477,175 | 2 |
| WR | Kendrick Bourne | NE | $5,000,000 | 1 |
| TOTAL SALARIES | $146,499,545 | |||
| Team #2 – 2023 Outlook | ||
| 2023 Draft Picks | 1.01, 3.05, 3.07 | |
| # of Players for 2023 | 27 | |
| Amount Under Cap | $10,860,455 | |
| Dynasty Dollars | 5.8 MM | |
| Amnesty Provisions | 2 AP | |
| Team #2 – 2024 Outlook | ||
| 2024 Draft Picks | 1st (1), 2nd (1), 3rd (1) | |
| Players Signed for 2024 | 14 | |
| 2024 Salaries | $89,147,256 | |
Summary: A team with some strong core players and the first overall rookie draft pick this year, but a gaping hole at quarterback and a lack of either stars or true depth at running back and tight end. To be determined whether I make a push to win this year, or move assets in a more long-term strategy.
Commentary: This team is in a lot better shape, obviously. And orphans in Love of the Game leagues will likely be stronger than what you find in $600 Cash Prize Pool and $1,200 Cash Prize Pool leagues.
At WR the team has pieces to contend, but the QB situation is pitiful, and the team is missing that sure-fire stud RB piece. The team could also use some work at TE.
And yes. This team has the 1.01 rookie draft pick. The prize asset. The reason that people suffer through a season, or seasons, of losing and through the ridicule of other people in the league.
This year, that pick is going to be Bijan Robinson ($5,489,634). I’ve seen people get cute and pick one of the three top rookie quarterbacks and even Jaxon Smith-Njigba ($3,604,327) once, but generational talents at running back, which is the most consequential fantasy position, don’t come around very often, so you have to grab Bijan.
But here we have to ask… Is this team one running back away from contention?
You’re not about to suggest trading Bijan away, are you?
Well, yes. All this team has other than the 1.01 rookie draft pick is a couple of mid-third round picks. So, the gaping hole at quarterback and the medium-sized hole at tight end are not going to be able to be resolved without trading away some of the assets at wide receiver or running back that would round them out as a contender.
My early strategy here is to see what I can get for the 1.01. If I can drop down only a little bit from the 1.01, add some draft capital, and maybe even pick up a serviceable RB to fill out what is a decent rotation, we might have a chance to put a whole team together. If I can get two mid-first round picks for the 1.01 then maybe I can trade one away to a team that’s building for the future and acquire a legit QB. I like this strategy, especially if I can get and then keep a top 5 rookie draft pick.
I’ll be fine taking Bijan, no doubt, but I think that would end any possible aspirations for this season. We’d have Bijan, Dameon, the two high priced WRs (DK and Diggs) and some other folks who may or may not be good next year. But the gaps at QB and TE would be too much to overcome. If we stay with Bijan and very little other draft capital, it’ll be better to move a piece here or a piece there and pick up young talent or future picks to give us options for the future. I’d rather win now, but I’ll saddle myself with the productive rebuilding team gimmick if need be.
Gimmick? Like that whole Little Orphan Annie gimmick, you started this novella with back when I started reading this five years ago.
I sense sarcasm.
For the sake of wrapping up, the next article will be all about the moves that I’ve made in between columns. What fat got trimmed, who got added from the Free Agent Auction, what trades were made, and how the heck are we going to build draft capital for the future with that second team? And I’ll go through what I look for in roster construction and how I place value on players. It’s not so much about me telling you the capital-B Best Way to Do Things, but just how I do it so that you can develop your own methods.
And of course, your feedback is welcome.
When it comes to feedback, I’ll be taking nominations for nicknames for these teams so that they’re easily distinguishable from each other, and I’ll put my Twitter account in the next-to-last paragraph of the article so you can send me your ideas.
Team names? How about “Doomed to Failure” and “I’d Rather Have Stayed Orphaned”?
Maybe something better than that. Maybe something more hopeful.
Message me on Twitter (@aobgsports) and tell me what you think about all this. I would also appreciate it if you followed @Dynasty_Owner on Twitter as well as subscribed to Dynasty Owner on YouTube. The content there is terrific, and well worth the five seconds it’ll take to follow and subscribe.
I’ll leave you with this. If you like what you’ve read, then take what’s been written here and go do it yourself. If you don’t like what you’ve read, then ignore all this junk and go do it better yourself. Either way, go get some orphan teams and have some fun. I’ll be back soon to let you know how this whole crazy mess is going.